No More Jellyfish, Chickens or Wimps by Paul Coughlin

No More Jellyfish, Chickens or Wimps by Paul Coughlin

Author:Paul Coughlin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2008-10-01T00:00:00+00:00


In order to help our children become confident, courageous, and successful, we must confront this hideous form of treatment that if unleashed upon an adult would put the perpetrator behind bars. As it stands today, due in part to its prevalence, bullies, these purveyors of torment, are sometimes unlikely even to get detention. Some signs of improvement do bring hope. For example, the state of South Carolina passed legislation, effective January 2007, that expands anti-bullying policies beyond the traditional ban on inflicting physical harm. New district policies now include bans on intimidation and other forms of emotional bullying, including cyber-harassment via cell phones and computers. I see here a fulfillment of the prophet Isaiah’s command: ‘‘Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed’’ (Isaiah 1:17).

Sadly, though, this is still the exception. The injustice many kids experience on a regular basis is so extreme yet so accepted that in many ways it could qualify as the next stage of the civil rights movement. As with other unacceptable atrocities, my hope is that we as a culture will look back upon what we used to tolerate in this arena and say to ourselves, ‘‘What were we thinking?’’

I wrote earlier that children need to feel bad sometimes in order to become confident and virtuous adults. By ‘‘bad,’’ though, I mean moderate challenges, effectively doled out, that serve them with opportunities to analyze a problem, create a plan, execute a solution, and experience success. I don’t mean that children need to feel miserable and despairing. There’s a difference between a temporary setback and prolonged anguish. Between sadness and sadism. Between good-natured teasing and torrential torment. Many sufferers of bullying aren’t challenged by their ordeal— they’re squashed by it. And sometimes the bullied become the bullies, squashing others in their desperate attempts to feel empowered.

BULLYING CREATES BROKENNESS . . . AND MORE BULLIES

The sins associated with bullying on school campuses do not only include the effects upon the victims who live in a constant state of fear and do not receive the education afforded to them by law. On that premise we can expect more lawsuits against school districts that fail to handle bullying effectively. Additionally, bullies who aren’t confronted by peers and leaders don’t receive the confrontation and correction they need to do well in life, and they often go on to bully as adults. They’re prone toward spousal abuse, and 60 percent of boys named as bullies in grades six through nine have at least one court conviction by age twenty-four. Their chances of drug and alcohol abuse also increase dramatically.

Bullying is a timidity factory, because it fills bystanders, both peers and authority figures, who rarely intervene, with cowardice. Bullies provide others the opportunity to exercise courage and bravery, to grow their moral backbone. But these usually fail the test.

Cowardice is the enemy of courage. Cowardice makes us feel sludge-like; it erodes our integrity and our dignity; it mortifies our souls and diminishes our self-regard. Odd that we wouldn’t already be focusing on this, in an age where self-esteem is an untouchable sacred cow.



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